"Sometimes, you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together unless and until all living humans read the book. And then there are books…which you can’t tell people about, books so special and rare and yours that advertising your affection feels like a betrayal."
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As a male bisexual I have dated very fluidly in my twenties then was in a few long term opposite sex relationships. But then I chose to not date at all and sort out my codependency issues.
During the period of not dating I got so much weird harassment from gays and lesbians that I am now committed to doing what I can do get bisexuals accepted.
In grad school a lesbian came into my place of employment and demanded I “come out as gay” and then for two years I heard say “which is it” repeatedly, a gay student did similar taunting, a gay teacher asking my orientation replied “Oh your one of those”.
Another gay teacher wanted me to come out as gay. And the head of the depart (Lesbian) responded to my bi identity by saying “we really don’t need labels” but she has one, and the gay and straight students had one.
And then a year later a gay director told me it was impossible for me to be bisexual in his words “I was straight and fucking around” or “gay and in the closet”. I can go on and on and on.
Since then my dating has been a bit weird to as I realized via online dating that straight women want touch me, most gay men have hang ups, and that has left only a few dates (obviously Woody Allen was wrong).
I dated a Straight women for a year who was paranoid if I stood next to a man we broke up – she did make an effort to understand. Then a gay man very sweet and supportive but also thought I had “heteroprivilege” yes I do come across as very straight so he is right but the moment I say who I am that privileged disappears quickly (we are still friends).
Finally I dated and am still dating a woman who has been as fluid in her dating as I have been. Yeah!!! But what the hell is up? Why do I get worse treatment in the gay community than the straight community?
What’s up? And why do academic papers say male bisexuality is less fluid than female bisexuality. And why did I not exist up til a few days ago?
"[Interview] Buckwild's Cara Talks Bisexuality + Stereotypes That Gotta Go
Buckwild is a new (started January 2013) reality series on MTV that as they say is “following an outrageous group of childhood friends from the rural foothills of West Virginia”. Not everyone is thrilled with this series for various reason, but it’s MTV . . .
ACT: Do you have any advice for people who are bisexual but are not sure how to talk about it with their friends?
CARA: My advice is to just be completely honest, and know that there will be people who try to make you feel bad and people who will bully you and don’t understand or accept you. I had people bullying me yesterday on social media. People will say rude things to you, and you have to know that it’s completely natural for you to fall in love with someone, and it doesn’t matter what that other person’s gender is. All of that is just a social construct. Love is love, lust is lust. You should never be ashamed to be yourself, and definitely never be ashamed to fall in love with somebody.
ACT: What are some stereotypes about bisexuality you’d like to clear up?
CARA: The one that bothers me the most is when people say that girls aren’t actually bisexual. This is so ignorant! People think that girls aren’t really bisexual or lesbian, that they do it for attention. That really bothers me a lot. Obviously my relationship with my ex-girlfriend was a long relationship. It was very emotional. For somebody to try to tell me that a relationship I spent years of my life in…I did that for attention…it’s one of the worst feelings.
